journal
Coming home from very lonely places, all of us go a little mad; whether from great personal success, or just an all-night drive, we are the sole survivors of a world no one else has ever seen.
- John le Carre
- John le Carre
I’m typing this blog entry while my vid is saving exporting/saving in the background. Another late entry but hey, at least it’s getting done right? Currently 9pm in my little corner of the world. It’s been a busy week as the organization i work for has transitioned everyone to working remotely as many have done this past week due to the pandemic.
2020 has already been such a doozy and we’re only 3 months in. Let’s get right to it, shall we? What I got done: Meditated twice Exercised once I was able to draw once Leisure time = I was able to catch my TWD and catch up on a couple of recorded show; I was also able to read more this week I wrote a blog post last Saturday I have 2 journal entries this past week I ate pretty healthy overall according to my own dietary needs What I didn't get done: 0 I didn’t realize this while I was recording my audio earlier since I just wanted to get the audio done while I could… but I actually did pretty well with my weekly goals this week. While the frequency for some were not where I prefer, I still managed to get everything done. That extra time I have from not commuting really helps. While I am able to do this, I plan on figuring out how I can continue this momentum when I do return to having to commute to the office. Some days it feels like maybe if I pushed more, I’ll get it all done. But at the same time, it’s a thin line between pushing myself in a healthy way versus pushing myself to the point of fatigue and exhaustion. This week, all things considered, I did alright. Take care of yourselves and each other. Be well, {R}
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I’m typing this before I even edit the video. Well, there’s not much to edit since I have no footage of drawing or gaming. It’s been one of those weeks really. My day job is very deadline-driven and I’ve had a couple of intense days this week. I’d come home mentally exhausted. Plus home life is busy as always.
The main thing I’m really not pleased about this past week is not being able to draw or meditate. While I did manage to work out midweek, I still need all the components to work out for me to feel ok. I’ve become used to meditating regularly that missing it just feels wrong at this point. Not being able to draw at all this week just adds on to that. I did get to study for a professional certification I’m trying to prepare for, for a couple of nights. Had I not done that, I would’ve been able to draw. However, this cert is a top priority so i have to shift any available time towards it, Anyway, here are this past week’s results: What I did: Exercised 1X Journal entry 1X A little bit of leisure time (watch TWD) Wrote a blog post Ate semi-healthy (I had a little more caffeine than usual and not as much veggies as I’d like) What I didn’t get to do at all: Draw Meditate *** Strategy: This coming week, I will make an effort to go to bed a little earlier so i can get up earlier than usual to allow for meditation time without encroaching upon my time to rest. Perhaps a little more sleep might help me with sustaining my energy level as well. Take care of yourselves. Until next week. Be Well {R} This’ll be another quickie post. I’m typing this while the edited vid for YT is in the process of saving in the background. It’s been a very busy week both in terms of work and home staff but overall, I can’t complain.
So for the past week I would say that overall I made some progress in a couple of tasks that have been a problem area. I resolved to improve upon this by changing the milestone to better reflect my current work schedule. In a nutshell, I dialed it down just a bit. For meditation and exercise weekly goals, the strategy to get the ball rolling again was to make it impossible to fail by making the minimum milestone very achievable. In doing so, I can rebuild the momentum I had before. It worked. On the flip side, I did not draw or write. These are activities I do during the evenings on weekdays. After I get home from work and take care of some home stuff, I can shift my attention to these creative pursuits. However, this past week, I encountered a couple of busy days at work which can mentally drain me to the point of physical exhaustion and a couple of nights where my commute home took longer than usual due to delays in mass transit. So here are the results: What I did: Meditated 2x Exercised 1x Allowed myself for leisure time Wrote a blog post Ate healthy What I didn’t get to do: Draw (work on my grid series) Write in my journal Tomorrow when I am more lucid I’ll try to figure out what I can do to “create” more time for all of these activities. For now, I need to upload the vid on YT, post this on the blog, and call it a day. I need some rest. Have an amazing week ahead. Be Well, {R} Not gonna lie...I'm probably going to hit publish on this blog and head straight to bed. I'm a bit tired and quite grumpy. The pattern for this past week seems to be the following: anytime I try to get something done for myself, something happens to slow me down or keep me from actually doing the task. (Note to self: I still have to place all my YT vids with its respective blog post.)
What I got done: Draw twice during the weekday. Leisure time (which I treasure since I'm always doing stuff for other people): some gaming, a little bit of TV (The Walking Dead just started again), and some reading Eat healthy (although my veggie intake the past week seems to be lower than usual, which I didn't even realize) What I missed: No meditation No exercise No journaling Some unexpected challenges during the beginning of the week which I believe partially contributed to the outcome above: I was feeling really fatigued all day on Monday I had some really bad backache and abdominal discomfort on Tuesday What works: More sleep and rest in general, especially during the weekend What doesn't work: Overextending myself Strategy for next week: Reduce the frequency for exercise and mediation so I can realistically reach those milestones. In doing so, I think that I will regain the momentum that was somewhat lost from my new work schedule. We will see the results next week. I remain optimistic despite the hurdles this week. There are a lot of external circumstances that will be out of my hands. However, how I respond and react to those unexpected events and situations will determine whether or not I will attain the goals I've set up for myself both short-term and long-term. Have a great week and be well. {R} Another evening post due to another busy Saturday. I’m typing this as this week’s video is rendering in the background. I’m going to need to examine my workflow and identify areas of improvement. I need to find ways to do things even more efficiently in order to manage my time better. I think I do alright as it is but it's starting to feel like I am scrambling a bit by end of week. I start off strong at the beginning of the week then lose some traction by the end of it.
At this pace, I can see myself burning out even when it doesn’t feel like it at the moment. That's the main thing I'm trying to prevent. This past week the exercise portion of my weekly goal is lacking once again. I am not counting the walking I do as part of my daily commute. Perhaps I can count that towards my cardio portion of the workout. The only thing I need to do is the resistance type of exercise. I have to sync my fitness device to see how much I have actually walked this past week. Ideally, I prefer to get my video uploads and blog post done by noon on Saturday, not trying to finish it up later that evening as I am right now. Also for this week’s vid, I could not find the clip I had of my gameplay of the game Distrust. I know I recorded it, it must’ve not saved successfully. Also, I am hoping this week’s vid isn’t ruined since I just got an error notification so I am trying to export it again. Here’s a summation of this past week’s goals:
What works: Preparing ahead of time What doesn’t work: Feeling like there’s too much to take care of at home; varied commute time depending on how unreliable the train is that night. *** This week's vid upload took way too long due to some technical difficulties. I am very annoyed right now but hey, at least it got done and with a little over a half an hour left before midnight. Here's to a a smoother week up ahead. Be well, {R} Another week, another check-in. I’ve just posted another vid on my YouTube channel. Speaking of, since it’s a 3-day weekend, I’m going to start embedding the vids with their respective blog posts on this site.
This past week has been a very good one overall in terms of improvement. When you’re in the midst of it, it doesn’t feel like progress is being made. it feels like you’re just going through the motions - one task to the next. This is why I feel it’s crucial for me to review my week as I have been since the beginning of the year. Only then can I actually step back and see what I have accomplished, what obstacles came into the picture and whether or not I overcame these challenges (and how). The old and different version of myself would’ve just focused on what I didn’t accomplish; the shortcomings and why I failed to do certain things. My present state has been handling situations in a healthier way, in my opinion. I set personal and professional goals, break them down into actionable tasks and track my progress. What I share here and on my vids are but a small fraction of the whole. Small but vital components that contribute to the success (or failure) of my larger goals. It’s also important to recognize when things are out of my control. For instance, my commute home was delayed significantly one night due to train issues. As much as it annoyed me to lose that time, it was out of my hands. There was another night where I ended up leaving work a half hour later than normal. I plan on gaining that half hour back this forthcoming week by leaving half hour early. So it will even out at least. Completed: Journaling:2X which is my minimum Drawing: After work, I managed to draw twice this week at about 1.5 hours per session Leisure time: TV = Dr. Who, Prodigal Son; Reading (during commute but it counts) Blog post: Once, last Saturday Healthy diet: More fruits, veggies, low-sodium food, less sugary, Partially completed: Daily meditation: 2 out of 7 days Missed: Exercise (3x/week) What works: Finding opportunities to take time back where you think there isn’t any. For example, reading while commuting, listening to audio books while doing chores. Preparing for the workweek in advance by setting aside the clothes you’re going to wear and planning what you’re going to have for lunch. What doesn’t work: Not getting enough sleep *** How did your week go? I hope you accomplished a lot. Don’t forget to take care of yourself in the process. Be well. [R] I am pushing it really close with this blog entry. It’s 11:30pm. I try to get this posted before midnight. Typically, I’d have it done early afternoon but this past week is all about adapting to changes.
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